The Poker Moth

So, I haven’t mentioned my newly acquired flatmate, yet; we shall know him as the Poker Hof, for that is his name.

Anyway, the Poker Hof only plays on Will Hill, which caused him a birrova problem earlier today, when their login server went down. I was still able to log into Crypto via Littlewoods, however. I’m sure that the sharper minds among you will no doubt have noticed the title of this post, read the above, and worked out that Crypto, denuded of it’s main skin, was running a lot of guaranteed tourneys with massive overlays, but I’m not that smart: the first I knew about it was when I signed up for the $1.5k guaranteed Headhunter and noticed that my bounty was at a frankly ridiculous $15.50. Even then, it took a moment for the penny to drop; my first thought was “I know I have a good Headhunter rating, but this is ridiculous”, the second thought was “hang on a minute – everyone’s got a bounty of more than $10… have I bought into a $30 tourney by mistake?”, and only then did it occur to me to check the number of runners. With Will Hill’s pool of donkament specialists missing, only 62 players registered for the tourney, which always runs at well over the 300 players needed to pay for the guaranteed prize pool. $750 went to the final tablists, with the remaining $750 distributed among just 62 players as bounties, according to their HH ratings. Even better, some of the registered players had signed up early through Will Hill, and were slowly blinded out.

I finished 6th, netting $60 profit, so I can’t complain too much, but I do wish I’d been slightly more on the ball to begin with; I missed out on the 600 euro guarantee (with an 11 euro buy-in), which attracted 15 runners; and as with the later HH guarantee, some of those registered players will have been Hills regulars who got in early, only to find themselves blinded out without seeing a hand.

If I believed in Karma, I’d also think it worth mentioning that I had the opposite experience just yesterday; I was running pretty hot in the second hour of the 1000 euro guarantee when the Virgin broadband fritzed out for ten hours. Thanks, Virgin. Thirgin. Anyway – I don’t believe in karma, and neither does the Poker Hof, who was also running well in a tourney at the time of the outage, and has yet to receive any form of karmic recompense.

I RUN BAD! No, but I do. Specifically, I run bad when heads up in MTTs.

Which is another way of saying – July has been pretty farking sweet, so far. My new, focused-and-professional-and-that attitude has been paying off handsomely, with several final tables in the last few days, including two utterly disgusting reverses when heads up for the money. I shan’t whine about it, though – I’m making money and having fun. Anyway, the upshot of it all is that I’m enjoying my poker FAR too much to do anything else at the moment. Eating and sleeping are being neglected, so blogging about poker is way beyond my superb time-management abilities.

Apparently, the WSOP Main Event is under way. And apparently you can get 22/1 on Phil Ivey winning it! Valuetastic or what? Still, I’ll keep a desultory eye on the Bluff updates and post if anything interesting happens. Steven Hendry making the final table, something like that.

Right. Must dash. Fish to fry.

*edit* Fried fish. Finished second in an MTT again. This one was an 11 euro on Crypto, and for once I can’t complain about being robbed heads up – I was low on chips and always a big underdog. But I can comlain about the three handed play, where my two opponents got it in preflop with not much, forcing me to fold my 65s. Would have made a straight flush, obviously.

Still, I’m currently in absolutely outrageous form, so mustn’t grumble. Maybe I’ve achieved a zen-like state of poker excellence! Or maybe it’s variance.

Yeah. It’s probably variance.

I just crashed out of a fascinating Betfair tourney in 9th place, just scraping into the money. I was chip leader or thereabouts for most of the tournament, but when we got down to the final 12, the bubble really kicked in, and a couple of eternities seemed to pass with no-one being knocked out. (This happens a lot on Betfair, with it’s very friendly chips/blinds structure). I was amazed to see I’d made the money, as last time I’d looked, there were still 11 runners left.

Anyway, I spent most of the bubble involved in a gargantuan tussle with a regular on the site, who shall not be named. I’ve played with him many times before, but never really crossed swords with him, but in this game he was sat on my immediate left, and with the game as tight as it was, there was lots of blind v blind encounters between us. I doubled him up after throwing an out of position gutshot semi-bluff push at him in a pot he’d raised, on a raggy board, but he was holding pocket Jacks, and I missed my four outs, which was unfortunate. Not as unfortunate as this, though -
————————————————————–
***** Betfair Poker Hand History for Game 380288308 *****
Table 2 9-max (Real Money)
Seat 2 is the button
Total number of active players : 5
Seat 1: bystander 1 ( 1,168.52 )
Seat 2: bystander 2 ( 11,184.96 )
Seat 4: dermoth ( 14,146 )
Seat 7: villain ( 23,313.52 )
Seat 8: bystander 3 ( 19,916 )
Tourney Level:9 Blinds(300/600-50 ante)
*everyone* posts ante [50]
dermoth posts small blind [300]
villain posts big blind [600]
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to dermoth [ Js, Jd ]
bystanders – fold
dermoth calls [300]
————————————————————–
Yeah, damn right I’m trying to trap him here. We’d been at war for ages, bluffing at each other with gay abandon, and I was positive I could see his tiny, birdlike soul by this point.
————————————————————–
villain checks
** Dealing Flop ** [ 8c, 7c, As ]
dermoth bets [1,087.50]
villain raises to [2,175]
————————————————————–
So, my first big decision. I couldn’t give him credit for an ace. I doubted he gave me credit for one either. What to do? I dwelled up for ages, and decided I’d just call. A little weak, perhaps, but I was fairly sure I was well ahead and wanted to milk it.
————————————————————–
dermoth calls [1,087.50]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8s ]
dermoth checks
villain bets [5,800]
————————————————————–
And this is where my read goes sour. First up, I made a horrible error in not leading out. If he reraises, I’m done with the hand, but in spots like this where my opponent has taken the lead on the flop, I rarely lead out on the turn. But when he bets the pot at me… ah, credit where credit’s due, it was a great play on his part, and I totally fell for it. The sick thing is I was so obsessed with the issue of whether he had an ace that I never even considered that he might have been playing an eight. Hey, I’m hungover.
————————————————————–
dermoth goes all-in
dermoth raises to [11,321]
villain calls [5,521]
** Showdown **
dermoth shows [ Js, Jd ]
villain shows [ 8h, 3d ]
————————————————————–
It burns! It burns!
————————————————————–
** Dealing River ** [ 5s ]
** Hand Conclusion **
villain wins 28,442 from main pot with three of a kind, Eights
************ Game 380288308 ends ************
————————————————————–

Still, I got paid. It’s hard to know how to feel about my line here, really – on the one hand, I think I played pretty damn beautifully up until the turn, but to stack off like that was unnecessary. I’d seen him blow up in similar spots twice before; he was definitely capable of making that play with pure air, but by this point it had become personal, and I may have been motivated by a foolish desire to outplay him. That’s never smart.

Well, I guess I wanted to win the enormous pot, of course…

That’s right, they’re going to have to do without me this year. I WILL NOT WHORE FOR HARRAHS AND ESPN!

Admittedly, I’ve never actually played in a WSOP tournament, and the closest I’ve got to one are satellites… I’ve been pretty damn close in two sats this year, (one for the Main Event and one for the WSOPE), but both of those were freerolls, so I can honestly say that I haven’t contributed as much as a cent to Harrahs this year, and it’s going to stay that way for the foreseeable future. I’m sure this announcement will send their stock price tumbling, so I better justify my decision for the benefit of all those blameless and soon-to-be-unemployed Harrahs employees, who’ll no doubt want to know why I’ve ruined their lives.

Basically, it’s because of this. Don’t bother clicking the link, though – I’ll fisk it for you.

“The World Series of Poker® (WSOP) Presented by Milwaukee’s Best Light today announced a groundbreaking change that will more closely align the televised presentation of the world’s largest, richest and most prestigious poker tournament with other premier sports broadcasts.”

Aside – you know the whole “is poker a sport” debate? Can we just say that it isn’t, and then tell ESPN to fuck off and leave the GAME of poker alone?  No? Anyway, back to the outrageousness, and here’s the big punchline…

“The last nine players of the $10,000 World Championship of No-Limit Texas Hold’em, known as the Main Event, will compete on November 9-10 instead of the originally scheduled date of July 16.”

Srsly. When I first heard about this, I assumed it was a wind up. It’s not. It’s actually happening. When the 10th player gets knocked out of the Main Event, ESPN are going to bag up everybody’s chips and stick them in a vault for FOUR FUCKING MONTHS. Why? Let’s ask those genius outofthebox thinkers over at Harrahs!

“Our intent is to provide an even bigger stage for our players,” said Jeffrey Pollack, Commissioner of the World Series of Poker.  “Now fans and viewers will ask ‘who will win’ our coveted championship bracelet instead of ‘who won.’ The excitement and interest surrounding our final nine players will be unprecedented.

This change in how the Main Event final table is staged will bring the excitement and drama of high-stakes WSOP tournament play closer to millions of fans around the globe.”

Now, Jeffrey, you’re not being entirely honest there, are you? The problem for you and ESPN isn’t people asking “who won?”, it’s them asking “who the fuck are these no-marks?”. And you’re looking for four months to hype the inevitable nonuplet of nonentities who will be stinking up the final table this year. In a way, i can’t blame you… the last few years have seen very few star names on the final tables. Matusow appeared briefly with a 9th place finish in ‘05, Allen Cunningham was the only name to make the FT in ‘06. And last year was… well. Who’s the current world champion? No googling. You know the one, the irritating god-botherer with the equally zealous and noisy family. Come on, what’s his name?

No, me neither. And what’s more, everybody knows that the reigning world champion (in all but name) was Freddy Deeb, and is now Scotty Nguyen (baby!), because the $50k HORSE event is now the only one that matters. Win that, and you deserve to be called the best poker player in the world. Win the Main Event, and you’re just the next Jerry Yang. (Yeah, I googled him). Or, as the Harrahs flacks put it -

“Continuing the trailblazing efforts that have made the WSOP the industry standard”…

You do really have to wonder what these idiots are on, don’t you? Who made the WSOP the (god help us) “industry standard” poker tournament? Are you sure it was Harrahs and ESPN? Really? Not, say, Benny Binion? Surely they meant to say “continuing the cackhanded meddling that has completely devalued the prestige of the Main Event”?

…”this move is being made in close collaboration with ESPN, the television rightsholder of the WSOP, and the WSOP Players Advisory Council (PAC), the commissioner-appointed committee of professional and amateur poker players who provide guidance and perspective to the WSOP leadership team.

“It’s an exciting time for the World Series of Poker and ESPN,” said Jamie Horowitz, senior producer, ESPN Content Development. “This adjustment will add a new element to a very successful and popular event.  We look forward to documenting all of the exciting stories that make the WSOP Main Event the seminal competition in all of poker.”

Ah, that’s a little bit closer to the truth. Why not go the whole hog, though? Turn it into a reality TV show – get each final tablist a big name coach, and document them learning how to play poker properly? I want to know about their JOURNEY! Let’s do away with the cards, and instead get Simon Cowell, Sharon Osbourne  and Piers Morgan to sit in judgment above them on a glass desk suspended above the final table,  buzzing players out of the tournament when they grow tired of their repertoire of chip tricks? Fuck it, just run a phone vote!

“This is a huge step forward for poker and more specifically poker on television because it will help create more buzz around the final table and that is good for all of us,” said Daniel Negreanu, a WSOP PAC member, three-time World Series of Poker bracelet winner and one of today’s most successful and popular poker professionals.  “Not only will this innovative step create more buzz for the final table, the added time prior to the final table will help get poker mainstream media attention.  I’m very excited about this decision and can’t wait to see it all unfold, hopefully from a seat at the final table!”

Oh, Dan. I used to like you, you know. But we’re not done with the madness yet. You ready for this?

The 39th annual World Series of Poker will take place from May 30th to July 14th at the Rio® All-Suite Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.  The Main Event will begin on July 3rd, with the Final Table being determined on July 14th. The nine players who advance to the Final Table will return to the Rio on November 9th to play down to just two players.   The final two, will go head-to-head late in the evening on November 10th to determine the champion and winner of poker’s ultimate prize.

The winner of the Main Event is expected to be crowned in the early hours of November 11.  ESPN will edit the two-day Final Table action and televise it in a two-hour program from 9:00-11:00 PM ET on Tuesday, November 11 just hours after the winner is crowned. This is akin to television coverage of the Olympic Games, where because of time zone differences, the telecaster schedules programs “same day” in primetime to provide the largest possible audience a convenient viewing time.

In other words, they’re delaying the thing by four months in order to NOT show live coverage of the final table. Good grief. And hang on, just a second… what did Pollack say earlier? “Now fans and viewers will ask ‘who will win’ our coveted championship bracelet instead of ‘who won.’” O RLY?

ESPN will begin its coverage of the 2008 World  Series of Poker on Tuesday, July 22. Viewers will see two hours of original poker programming every Tuesday through November 11 (except November 4 when a special preview of the Final Table will be aired at 10 p.m.).  Telecasts will be aired at 8 p.m. and 9 p.m. July 22 through September 30 and at 9 p.m. and 10 p.m. from October 7 through November 11.

Each of the players who make it to the WSOP Main Event Final Table will receive ninth place prize money on July 14, when the finalists are determined.  Harrah’s will then provide each of those players with an all expense paid trip for two for their return to Las Vegas in November to play the final portion of the tournament.

From July 14 to November 9, a span of 117 days, players will have an opportunity to line up sponsorships, coaches, review the play of all their competitors, participate in other tournaments, and take advantage of the new publicity and promotional opportunities that will be available.

It absolutely blows my mind that anyone could consider this to be a good thing. Unbefuckinglievable.

I mean, I really am. I totally suck. Or at least, I have been totally sucky for about… ooh. The last 18 months? Maybe more, probably no less.

I realized this last night in a rare moment of self-awareness, brought about by a similarly rare day of playing extremely well.  As I was attempting to banish the adrenaline from my body in an effort to get some sleep, I started thinking about what I’d done differently that day. The answer surprised me; I’d kept a close eye on my opponents, I’d exploited my reads judiciously, and most importantly, I’d taken my time. Well, I’d also tilted like the Titanic on two separate (although mercifully brief and inexpensive) occasions, but over the course of the whole day I was focused and, for want of a better word, professional in my attitude.

This Lidl Epiphany begged another question: “why have I not been doing that before”? And the answer to that one is long and complex, and large chunks of it are far too tedious to go into here (you know, relationship stuff – I’ve flogged that horse too hard for my liking on these pages already). Other parts of the answer are merely quite tedious, so I’m prepared to ride the Catharsis Express on that stuff a little further… I’d stop reading now, if I were you.

SO! Let’s start by making it clear that I haven’t been playing badly, as such – just nowhere near as well as I should. The fundamentals of my game have been solid for years, and that hasn’t changed any; I’m solid preflop, generally solid postflop… you know, all the basic strategy stuff that will stay with me to the grave, much like knowing how to ride a bicycle, or hating Liverpool FC.  I’ve not been losing money, in other words – I’ve just been leaving rather a lot on the table.

How? Mostly by being far too blasé about my game. If I were to draw a graph of how much of a shit I gave about improving my game/playing my absolute best/poker in general, it would start out very high, climb to a peak after about a year, stay there for about another year, and then drop right off… and it would look fairly similar – considerably more extreme, but essentially the same pattern – to a graph of my profits over the same period. Now, that might be a coincidence; it possibly has more to do with the natural progression of my game over the years from weak/passive noob, through tight/aggressive journeyman LHE grinder, to loose-aggressive pushbot spew artist*… but it’s probably not.

And why? Mainly overconfidence in my abilities, coupled with a lack of respect for my opponents, neither of which are particularly awful traits in isolation; I am pretty good, even when I’m not paying attention, and I purposefully play at limits where I know I’m not going to be overmatched much. The problem is that when you combine the two, along with my legendary inherent laziness, you get… more laziness.  And that’s not good for business.

The other problem with overconfidence slash entitlement is that it leads to tilt. I’ve blogged about tilt (and it’s even more ugly sister, table-experthood), before, and it really grinds my gears that, on occasion,  I’ve allowed myself to fall victim to that sort of mentality. I used to claim that I never tilted, and that was true for a good long while – I’d certainly get angry, but I’d walk away from the game and sort my head out before commiting any more clay.  Now, that ability to walk away was a luxury, and one that I’d take full advantage of, often for a week or more, but I can’t afford to take tilt holidays these days.  What I can do is fight off that stupid sense of entitlement that leads to chuntering, grumbling, gnashing and wailing… or at least, I like to think I can. the first step down that path is taking my poker seriously again, paying attention, striving to improve, and obviously shrugging the bad beats off for what they are; ocassional outbreaks of  misfortune which are sent by the poker gods to test me, and not an excuse to chew the furniture.

Obviously, I’ve made a flying start with this resolution – I’ve been playing a tournament while writing this post, ffs. The fact that I’m doing rather well (currently 3rd of 167 remaining, 1005 started, 144 pay) is neither here not there.

Oh, and my next post will not be about my navel, I promise.

* This may be something of** an exaggeration.

**A euphemism for “is unquestionably”

*edit* I finished 5th in the end, notching $263, which isn’t bad considering I started with $70 in that account. Absolutely incredible that I should pull out my best result in a big field tournament for six months following the above post, but there you go – it appears that paying attention really does pay dividends! I played like a god – A GOD, I TELL YOU – for the vast majority of the tournament and was a substantial chipleader from the bubble to the final four tables, but got over-adrenalised following a series of horrible suckouts versus dominated hands when it got down to the last 18. I’m just not used to going that deep in the big field games these days, I guess. Anyway,  encouraging. I’m off to have a bath then knock over some of the smaller tourneys on Betfair and Crypto.